The Other Side of the Bed
by replica.of.bella
Summary: She once said that she loved me more than I love her - could that be true?" Edward's inner battle before his confession to Bella in New Moon, with some help from Alice. Rated T for future chapter. Original pairings.


A/N: This is just how I imagined Edward's side of his confessions to Bella during New Moon, and his help from Alice. Not exactly ground-breaking, but hopefully enjoyable enough - this was mostly experimentation with writing.

Oh, and this one-shot was actually meant to be a comedy involving Romeo and Juliet, marshmallows, and Sam the werewolf... (one that I still think would be pretty funny) but I found that the writing was too in-depth and serious for something that light-hearted. Maybe I'll tack on the humorous version after this, just for laughs.

Anyway... Enjoy! COMMENTS ARE WELCOME!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters or plot lines - Stephenie Meyer does, although I have used some of her dialogue from New Moon and toyed around with her characters.

New Moon - The Other Side of the Bed.

Edward's POV

I was in torment. Absolute, searing torment.

There she lay, hair streamed out in mahogany ripples, framing the porcelain skin of her angelic face. The pearly light from the partly-shrouded moon gave her figure a dream-like quality, quite fitting for her appearance.

But not tonight.

The sheets were twisted into knotty braids around her limbs as Bella tossed and turned fitfully, beads of sweat rolling down her face and neck and drenching her pillow, which smelled of salty tears from who-knows how many sleepless and painful nights.

And I was the cause of her distress. This was the reason for the stabbing sensation in my chest, the ringing in my ears, the aching in my dead heart. I was at fault here, and now Bella had to pay for my mistakes.

My Bella.

I would hazard a guess that this was one of the more tranquil nights of the last six months, and this did not help me in the slightest.

But why was I feeling sorry for myself? How could I, when such an innocent creature was corrupted by my foolishness, and probably felt even worse than I did at the moment and for the past half year?

She one said that she loved me more than I love her - could that be true?

No, I immediately beat the thought into the recesses of my mind. The love and adoration I held for Bella was inconceivable, even to the vampire world. There was no possible way that she could feel the way that I feel about her.

I mentally slapped myself - this inner conversation was not helping me do what I was about to do, according to Alice, in the slightest.

After I had laid Bella on her bed thirteen hours ago and reluctantly pried her small, clutching hands from my shirt, I had exited the house quickly after allowing Charlie to scream profanities in my face and smash a framed school picture of Bella when she was younger onto the kitchen counter. I hope she wouldn't notice...

Before leaping up through my love's window to watch her rest and prepare for the inevitable confession of my faults and, hopefully, my forgiveness, Alice had intercepted me:

"She'll wake up at around two in the morning..." Alice frowned, and massaged her temples in frustration. "I... I think everything will go fairly well..."

She concentrated even harder as I leaned against a tree on the outskirts of the Swan property near the woods - I realized that this was the very spot where I had said my goodbyes to Bella.

I bolted, as if shocked, to the other edge of her house, Alice anticipating my actions and keeping pace with me. I sighed, and crossed my arms.

Alice gave me a pitying look, and for once I didn't argue. I was such a pathetic excuse for a person... or whatever I was.

"I'm sorry Edward, but the future's still hazy. I - I'm almost positive that everything will work out fine."

I nodded, but I was already planning out what to say to my Bella. How would she ever forgive me... I snapped out of my reverie, surprised as Alice threw her arms around my shoulders and pulled me close.

"Thank you for not giving up on us... thank you for living." I was suddenly filled with emotion, mostly shame and regret, but tinged with gratitude and affection. I hugged her back, hesitantly.

Alice looked up at me, eyes sparkling. "Whatever happens, you know you always have us. You have me." I smiled, my signature crooked one, and saw her face visibly brighten as she encountered the first attempt at a grin that I had worn since I had left Bella.

She patted my shoulder, and we both dashed off - me to the room of my love, and Alice to Jasper's waiting arms.

Now I was left in agony, watching the staggering pain flash repeatedly across my Bella's face at much-too-frequent intervals as she clutched at her chest involuntarily. I shuddered, aghast at the damage I had inflicted upon my reason for living.

What could I say? What words held the power to regain her love, her trust?

My eyes drifted to her digital alarm clock. Only five minutes left until her awakening, and an unclear future.

Maybe I could simply hold her, kiss her hair, and put this conversation off for another day. Perhaps Wednesday of next April... no, I was dodging the goal of tonight's venture. Perhaps I could write my thousands of apologies in a letter and visit her later to confirm them. No, I was simply being a coward.

But what I if I decided to leave her, so she wouldn't have to go through the pain - I cut off these wandering thoughts abruptly. Never again. Never again.

Bella's heart rate rapidly increased, a tell-tale sign that she was about to wake up from a deep, but not-so-peaceful slumber.

My gaze fell upon her shifting form, and love swelled up in my chest, filling my whole body with a long-forgotten warmth.

I had ten seconds left until my Bella peeled open her delicate eyelids, and I could do this. I crawled into bed with her, wrapping my stone-cold arms around her torso.

10...

Bella squirmed, pushing the sheets off of her legs.

9...

She exhaled sharply, blowing up a few strands of her hair in the process.

8...

She tossed in my hold on her body.

7...

Bella's chest rose and fell quickly, heaving.

6... 5... 4...

She rubbed her eyes impatiently.

3...2...1...

She sat up straight and blinked rapidly, eliminating the filmy gauze that sleep had thrown across her vision.

"Oh!"

I held her more loosely, looking at her eagerly, fervently, ready to launch into my apologies as quickly as possible. Confidence filled my soul, just as my self-hatred pushed it down quickly.

Bella looked shocked as she gazed, doe-eyed, into my face, as if trying to dispel a particularly nasty dream. I felt my confidence tumble.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked anxiously, keeping my voice low in reassurance.

She stiffened, as some sort of revelation struck her. Fear glinted in her chocolate-brown eyes.

"Oh, crap," she croaked, voice breaking.

I panicked. "Bella, what's wrong?" My tone was filled with urgency.

She frowned at me angrily and sadly. It would've been cute if this wasn't such a crucial moment concerning our future relationship.

"I'm dead, right?" I moaned. "I did drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie."

She thought she was dead? Was the sight of me so nightmarish, that she thought of me as some sort of demon? That would mean that she assumed she was in hell... I stiffened. How could such an angel be condemned that way?

"You're not dead." I frowned.

"Then why am I not waking up?" she challenged, raising her eyebrows at me in a defiant gesture.

I felt depression start to cripple me again. "You are awake, Bella."

She shook her head fervently. "Sure, sure. That's what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up. If I wake up, which I won't, because I'm dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake..." she trailed off, cringing in on herself in torment. I felt like doing the same.

"I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare," I offered grimly. This was definitely not the way I had thought this would go.

Annoyance lit up her elegant features that stunned me whenever I laid eyes on them. "Obviously not. If I were in hell you wouldn't be with me." A small smile graced her delicate face.

Although she may not have known it at the time, this one statement, however obvious to her, made my heart soar. Indeed, I was still in immeasurable pain from my own mistakes and the dire consequences they had on Bella's life - on my life. But unbeknownst to my love, reassurance filled me once more as I found that she did not view me as a monster - and this gave me the confidence to move forward, say what I had to say.

As we commenced into our conversation, filled with doubt, tears, lust, love, and new hope, I sensed a presence outside the window. It was not until I was wrapped in Bella's arms, and not until I detached my lips from hers and held her recklessly close, when both of us were panting in desperate and never-ending, immeasurable love and connection, that I heard Alice's thoughts.

"Oh, and Edward - I forgot to thank you for the most important thing of all - thank you, more than anything, for Bella... you're love and my sister."

She couldn't have possibly read my thoughts, but she had said the exact same thing that I had been repeating over and over to myself as I trailed kisses up and down Bella's neck and shoulder.

Except I had been thanking the giver of this undying love - Bella.

A/N: Again, COMMENTS WELCOME! I'm not specifically asking for insight on the actual story, (unless you want to) but I'm curious as to how the writing sounds. Thanks again!


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